The Daily Ripper

New OS gives Bill Gates long horn

Technology | Sunday, May 8th, 2005

Microsoft founder Bill Gates has confirmed that the next-generation Windows operating system, codenamed Longhorn, will have 50% more bugs than Windows XP. The software billionaire has also given a satisfaction guarantee on the new operating system, which is due for release at Christmas 2005. “If anyone is fully satisfied with Longhorn then I will guarantee them a full refund,” Mr Gates said. (more…)

Knick knack, paddy whack, give the frog a phone

Arts | Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005

The crazy frog legs his tackle do the talking.Margaret Pomeranz, host of “At the Movies” on ABC TV, has attacked the censorship of the “Crazy Frog” mobile ringtone advertisement. Ms Pomeranz said by covering the frog’s penis with a censored bar the ringtone company was denying the CGI amphibian the right to express his sexuality. “By hiding the frog’s love muscle in the advertisement, children are given the mixed message that one cannot be both a crazy frog and a heterosexual male in modern society,” Ms Pomeranz said. (more…)

Clooney, Kidman sign up for ‘Bali nine

Arts | Thursday, April 28th, 2005

Hollywood stars George Clooney and Nicole Kidman have signed on to star in a new film based on the plight of nine Australians accused of heroin trafficking in Bali, following on from the success of crime gang films Ocean’s Eleven and Ocean’s Twelve. (more…)

Australia moves to Canada

World, Australia | Wednesday, March 9th, 2005

Canada this week announced it will not join the U.S. missile defence program, widening a political rift between the two countries. But an amicable soloution is in sight — since Australia has already signed up for Star Wars, Prime Minister John Howard has proposed that Australia and Canada simply swap places. (more…)

PM: I couldn’t keep the bastard, honest

Australia, Politics | Tuesday, March 8th, 2005

Prime Minister John Howard has been reunited with his long-lost son who was adopted out by the PM 43 years ago. Kim Beazley, the on-again off-again leader of the Opposition, was informed on Sunday that the PM is his natural father. (more…)

Fantasy Panels VI

Cartoons | Tuesday, March 8th, 2005


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U.S. praises soldier for atrocity

World | Monday, March 7th, 2005

A U.S. soldier who shot an unarmed, injured Iraqi civilian in the face and then jumped up and down on the dead man’s spine has been cleared of criminal charges by the U.S. Armed Forces Tribunal. (more…)

No Queen at Charles, Camilla wedding

World, Arts | Monday, March 7th, 2005

Legendary rock group Queen has refused to play at the wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla on the grounds of bad taste. (more…)

Fantasy Panels V

Cartoons | Tuesday, March 1st, 2005


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Fantasy Panels IV

Cartoons | Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005


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