Microsoft founder Bill Gates has confirmed that the next-generation Windows operating system, codenamed Longhorn, will have 50% more bugs than Windows XP. The software billionaire has also given a satisfaction guarantee on the new operating system, which is due for release at Christmas 2005. “If anyone is fully satisfied with Longhorn then I will guarantee them a full refund,” Mr Gates said. (more…)

Wollongong man Clayton Haverty says he is eagerly awaiting the as-yet-unannounced release by Microsoft of Service Pack 3 for Windows XP Home. “It’s not so much that I think my computer needs it, because Windows is already excellent,” he gushed. “Just that I really enjoy downloading and installing those updates. I like the uninstall shield wizard and all the little dialogue boxes that pop up, the disclaimer where you have to tick the little box and agree to it before you continue and stuff like that. (more…)

The New Zealand Government has unveiled a bold new strategy to become a dangerous maverick and global pariah state by knitting its own missile defence shield made entirely of Kiwi wool. (more…)