The departing British prime minister, Tony Blair, was completely absolved over the Iraq fiasco today after uttering the catch-all excuse that “I did what I thought was right”.

Ibjab al-Tabir, an Iraqi barber, responded as he climbed out of a crater left by the latest suicide truck bomb: “I mean, our country has been reduced to rubble, but if he was doing what he thought was right, I suppose we’ve got to forgive him.”
Mr Blair’s retirement announcement was expected to be the last speech he gives for free before beginning a lucrative globetrotting career on the after-dinner circuit.