‘A new book promises to teach “absolutely anyone” the easy way to make a million dollars — simply by writing a book about how to make a million dollars. How To Make Your First Million By Writing A Book About How To Make Your First Million by I.T.S.A Surething promises to make anyone a millionaire, “even if you’re stupid enough to believe this book will work”.

“This step-by-step book shows you how to become a millionaire - faster than you ever dreamed possible,” Mr Surething said. “The road to success is never smooth but if I can do it, anyone can.”

How To Make Your First Million By Writing A Book About How To Make Your First Million promises to clearly explain:

• the step-by-step processes you need to know to come up with the right mix of simplicity, wordiness and false promises for a successful ‘get rich quick’ book title;
• the art of writing your own folksy proverbs which mean little but ring with truth if read quickly and thoughtlessly;
• the top-ten weasel words which will make the reader think you sound smarter than you really are;
• the brainstorming process you’ll need to go through to write chapter headings which promise more than you can possibly deliver;
• how to sprinkle ‘handy hints’, ‘alerts’ and ‘true success stories’ through the text to keep ‘em reading;
• the specific techniques you need to know to launch and market the book by becoming a syndicated newspaper columnist giving out downright obvious financial advice that no-one will pay any attention to anyway; and
• where to find that chintzy, ill-fitting suit and the slightly off-kilter reading glasses every good financial writer needs for their book tour.

But Mr Surething says How To Make Your First Million By Writing A Book About How To Make Your First Million is much more than just a guidebook to making money.

“It also narrates my story, telling how I went from being a normal eight-year-old kid growing up in a ‘white trash’ family playing video games to writing a book which takes advantage of people’s stupidity to make me s*#tloads of money,” he said.

“My dad always taught me that if I studied hard at school, got a good education and then worked long and hard until retirement, I would be successful and be able to retire to the ‘good life’.

“But when I looked at people around me working themselves into the ground, I realised that hard work doesn’t guarantee anything. So instead, I saw an opportunity to make money by pretending to be able to be able to tell people how to make money.”

Mr Surething says the first step towards your first million is to “decide it’s okay to become a millionaire”.

“Some people think building wealth is an unworthy goal. Before anyone can begin a journey toward enlightened millionaire-dom, they need to accept within themselves that becoming rich is okay,” he said.

“Then all they need to do is buy my book, How To Make Your First Million By Writing A Book About How To Make Your First Million, get themselves a comfy office chair and start typing.”