United States President George W Bush has made another of his trademark slips of the tongue, vowing to “faithfully execute the President of the United States” while being sworn in for his second term.

Mr Bush vowed to kill himself while taking the oath of office from ailing US Chief Justice William Rehnquist, before a crowd of dignitaries and supporters in front of the US Capitol building.

“I George Walker Bush do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the President of the United States and will to the best of my ability preserve, protect and defend the constitution of the United States, so help me God,” Mr Bush said.

What he meant to say was that he swore to “faithfully execute the office of President of the United States”.

After being told of his mistake, Mr Bush said he was a man of his word and that he would “spread freedom to the darkest corners of the world” by standing true to his promise.

Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, meanwhile, has been sworn in for another term as the World’s Chief Evil-doer.

Osama won a second term after the Court of International Terrorists ruled against an appeal by his former right-hand man turned political challenger, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, who had claimed that bin Laden rigged a worldwide ballot.

Bin Laden narrowly pipped Zarqawi in the December run-off election.

While President Bush is celebrating his second inauguration with a series of lavish balls, bin Laden has lower-key events planned to mark his victory.

“Some friends of mine have sent me congratulatory presents, so I’ll be here in my cave eating Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and throwing back a few Coca Colas to celebrate my ongoing fight against the capitalist pig, America,” bin Laden told the Ripper.

Like his American counterpart, bin Laden used his second-term inauguration speech to vow to execute the President of the United States.

Just who will get there first remains unclear.