Prince Harry has apologized for his poor sartorial sense in wearing a Nazi swastika to a fancy dress party. “But I deny that six million Jews were really offended,” said the prince, felling a photographer with a deft right hook while sucking on a fat reefer. Prince Charles, meanwhile, ordered his son to travel to the Auschwitz death camp, preferably in cattle class, and take a cold shower there.

Royal-watchers say the third in line to the monarchy adopting the symbol of history’s worst mass murderer suggests he is devising a Final Solution to clear his run to the throne.

Aides said Harry has been trying to grow a little Hitler moustache but has been unsuccessful in producing anything more than bum-fluff.

The worldwide Jewish e-mail complaint diaspora has unleashed a furious barrage of typing to demand that Harry be chemically castrated to stop his increasingly belligerent and anti-Semitic behaviour. “Nothing less than the Crown jewels, in this case Harry’s, will suffice as reparations for this outrage,” said a widely circulated letter.

But Marvin Hier of the Simon Wiesenthal Centre said Jews should not be going around being outraged in a largely unorganised fashion.

“The Simon Wiesenthal is the official international clearing house for Jewish indignation and any unauthorised expression of outrage might constitute an even more outrageous outrage,” he fumed. “Let’s keep it together people, we are trying to run an international Zionist conspiracy here for Christ’s sake! Actually, not for Christ’s sake, I meant that as a figure of speech.”

Prince Harry, meanwhile, said he would visit Auschwitz to atone for his misbehaviour, but warned it was possible he could commit another faux pas “like shagging a Polish hooker in the gas chamber or something.”