Palestinian prez falls for exploding cigar from Sharon
Barmy Army freed from Guantanamo Bay

Abbas falls for exploding cigar from Sharon

Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon said he was just trying to inject some humour into stalled Middle East peace negotiations when he sent a prank exploding cigar to newly elected Palestinian president Mahmoud Abbas as a congratulatory gift yesterday.

Mr Abbas, his face blackened and hair frazzled by the incendiary stogey, showed he’s a good sport, telling Mr Sharon to expect a similar but “much more spectacular” gift to arrive by Hamas bus courier.

Barmy Army freed from Guantanamo Bay

Four members of larrikin English cricket fan group the Barmy Army will be freed from Camp X-ray in Cuba and returned to Britain on condition they not use their witty chants to undermine the war on terror, US intelligence officials said Tuesday.

A Pentagon spokesman said cryptographers had spent the past few years trying to decode Barmy Army songs that they feared contained coded messages telling Al Qaida operatives to launch attacks. “But all we got were some lyrics about Warney being an Aussie twat, and there was something about living in a convict colony but it was sung to the tune of Yellow Submarine.”

The Americans will also release Australian man Mamdouh Habib, who has already sold the publishing rights to a hilarious Chopper Read-style memoir of his wacky misadventures behind the chicken wire.