A bank in Northern Ireland was robbed of about $47 million on Monday, and soon afterwards Australia-based Irish comic Jimeoin announced he was quitting the stand-up circuit because he had “come into some money”.

Bank officials’ family members told of being held hostage in their homes during the Belfast heist by a “lanky feller” who obscured his face with a souvenir Northern Ireland teatowel.

They said they were subjected to videotapes of Jimeoin’s 1999 movie The Craic and of his appearances on Full Frontal, as well as a live reprisal of some of his well-worn stage gags by the teatowelled tormenter.

It was a terrible ordeal, they said, because little of the material translated that well to the Irish sense of humour.

“Ah now he’s a nice enough guy, so he is, and fair play to him, but I tink that stoof ‘e does on de telly must be written fer de Aussies like,” said Sile O’Flaherty, the bank manager’s wife.

“That Scottish feller, Billy Connolly, has more craic in him than me fat aunty’s arse and 10 Jimeoins put together but ye don’t get to pick and choose yer hostage-taker I suppose do ye, more’s the pity, t’be shure.”

Jimeoin spoke to the Ripper from his native Northern Ireland where he claimed to be “joost visitin’ wit me ma and da, like” when the heist took place.

He launched a stinging attack on the Ripper for “misrepresentin’ me accent entirely, like”.

“Whatcher writin’ there, it’s more of an accent from Dublin down in the Repubberlick like, and I’ve more of an Ulster accent like tha’ Gerry Adams feller,” he said.

The funnyman said he had nothing to do with the heist and had just coincidentally found several million pounds Sterling under the mattress in his old bedroom. “I moosta left there when I was a wee snapper,” he said.

“It was left over from a pot o’ treasure I nicked from a passing leprechaun back in the day,” he claimed.

“It’s a handy little kitty, so it is t’be shure, and should keep me in the Guinness and away from doing lame-arse shows in RSL clubs indefinitely.”