Foreign Minister Alexander “Deputy Dawg” Downer has turned down an offer to become the new nuclear watchdog of the United Nations, saying he prefers to remain a lapdog to the United States.

Mr Downer said Prime Minister John Howard is the U.S.’s deputy sheriff in the region and “as foreign minister I like to think of myself as Deputy Dawg, from that cartoon I used to watch as a kid,” he said.

U.S. president George W. Bush, whom Mr Downer knows to as “G-Dog”, wants current inspector Mohamed El Baradei removed because he doesn’t like the sound of the bloke.

Mr Downer has apparently asked Liberal staffers to call him “Deputy Dawg”.

But they are uneasy with the idea, some arguing that he looks more like Yogi Bear’s dopey pal Huckleberry Hound.

Mr Downer said as far as international relations are concerned he is happy to keep playing ball-sniffer to John Howard’s role as arse-licker.

“Although Alexander the Atomic Watchdog doesn’t sound too bad come to think of it.”