The New Zealand Government has unveiled a bold new strategy to become a dangerous maverick and global pariah state by knitting its own missile defence shield made entirely of Kiwi wool.

Prime Minister Helen Clark unveiled the scheme — to be known as Baa Wars — while lamenting her nation’s failure to attract terrorists.

“People around the world find it hard to resist the quality and value of New Zealand wool,” said Mrs Clark, speaking through an interpreter.

“Likewise, we hope the terrorists and rogue nations will not be able to resist the provocation posed by our woolly shield, which can only be seen as a clear signal for them to knit, weave or otherwise construct their own ever-more-terrible doomsday weapons using their local fibres and homegrown know-how.

“Where ample local fibres are not available, New Zealand will be happy to discuss mutually beneficial trade opportunities with aggressor nations.”

At the same time, the insulation provided by wool’s inherent qualities of warmth at an affordable price should speed up the retreat of New Zealand’s glaciers, resulting in condemnation from environmental groups and further international isolation, Mrs Clark enthused.

Mrs Clark said she had the idea for a sheep-based military-industrial complex after Australia accused its neighbour of “woolly thinking” after NZ decided to scrap its air force.”

Mrs Clark has also revealed that she remains hopeful Al Qaida will blow up NZ’s Parliament House so the Government can claim the insurance and build a new one.

“We’ve waved through whole boatloads of refugee riff-raff from all sorts of dodgy countries like Afghanistan in the hope that someone will take the initiative and shove a block of Semtex under that bloody eyesore,” Mrs Clark said.

“Unfortunately these refugees just want to take advantage of all that New Zealand has to offer by taking honest jobs and becoming upstanding citizens,” Mrs Clark said.

Sources say the Government has been quietly e-mailing extremist websites, sending plans of its Parliament building in Wellington and hinting on discussion boards that airport security will turn a blind eye to anyone carrying concrete plans targeting the national assembly.

Meanwhile it has been upping the insurance on the Parliament building, which fuses a charming colonial-era edifice with what appears to be a colossal beehive and is regarded as a national joke.

“I suppose we’ve just strayed too far from the Americans and Australians with our nuclear-free status, our neutral stance on Iraq and our soft policy on refugees, and we’re not considered a worthwhile target.”

But Mrs Clark vowed that Baa Wars would turn all that around in one go.

“From today we pledge to crutch our enemies with shear force — once we GET some enemies, that is.”