The departing British prime minister, Tony Blair, was completely absolved over the Iraq fiasco today after uttering the catch-all excuse that “I did what I thought was right”.

Ibjab al-Tabir, an Iraqi barber, responded as he climbed out of a crater left by the latest suicide truck bomb: “I mean, our country has been reduced to rubble, but if he was doing what he thought was right, I suppose we’ve got to forgive him.”
Mr Blair’s retirement announcement was expected to be the last speech he gives for free before beginning a lucrative globetrotting career on the after-dinner circuit.

After an exclusive preview screening of the third Star Wars episode at Skywalker Ranch, the Daily Ripper can confirm that “Revenge of the Sith” doesn’t suck. With George Lucas’s permission, the Ripper can reveal that Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader and in a shocking twist Senator Palpatine turns out to be Darth Sidious/the Emperor! (more…)